Obesity Saves Lives

In this case, it was eleven year old Jiffy's life. This past Wednesday, Jiffy was found frozen to a sidewalk in Wisconsin. His owner -who shall not be named- forgot to let poor Jiffy inside, causing him to sleep outside in the freezing cold weather. Shelter owners had to dump warm water on Jiffy's back to "thaw" out his body. They believe Jiffy survived only because he is morbidly obese, stating that his fat layers insulated him throughout the night. This border collie, weighing in at over 120 pounds, was taken to the shelter in hopes of finding a better owner.

Remains of Jiffy's skin and fur can be found at the crime scene (street). As for Jiffy, him and his excess 70 pounds of fat can be found at the local Wisconsin humane society.

"One Person, One Fare" No Matter How Fat

People who exceed their allotted airplane seat space have to fret no more- as long as they are flying in Canadian planes. Canada decided that obese people who take up more than one seat do not have to pay for it- because paying for another seat your body is taking up is "discriminatory" and mean. "It's going to make a huge difference because now I know that I'll be able to fly with dignity," said Linda McKay-Panos, who is obese. Once you have reached the point that you need additional seats to hold your body, dignity has died long ago. Not only do obese passengers get free additional seats, people with disabilities do not have to pay for their care-givers and attendants seats either. Other than being a hilariously awful court ruling, this can potentially hurt Canadian airlines costing them as much as $7.1 million per year.

If only people would realize how awful they look and try to make some life-style changes, then and only then could normal people and the morbidly obese coexist in peace.