A Pleasure Chip? I'll Take 15.

Do you ever just want to feel more aroused when eating or making sex? Have you ever ate a whole pie and thought "That should have tasted more magical". Is sex not what it used to be for you?

If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions then the "Pleasure Chip" is just for you. Scientists are tediously working on such a chip that can be placed in the orbitofrontal cortex, located just behind your eyes. This chip will stimulate the orbitofrontal cortex, which is the pleasure center of the brain. People who have an inability to perceive pleasures from sex or eating will now be able to once again enjoy these activities.

Although this miracle chip is not yet ready to be distributed to the public, Tipu Aziz, one of the scientists working on it, predicts that this little piggie will be ready for the market within the next ten years. But until then folks, you will have to keep snorting your coke and drinking your whiskey to fend away the misery you face from day to day.

Let Them Eat Cats

Many Americans enjoy steak. Likewise, many Chinese enjoy cats. But just as American animal rights activists live to protest, so do Chinese activists. Except the Chinese are protesting over the use of cats in cuisine.

Huang, a butcher in Guangdong, China, said to breitbart.com "Cats have a strong flavor. Dogs taste much better, but if you really want cat meat, I can have it delivered by tomorrow" and "Cat tastes a bit like lamb. I don't like it much. Young cats are tender, but the meat on the older ones is really tough. Usually old people like eating it." Which is exactly the kind of thought that enraged cat lovers who protested outside the Guangdong government office in Beijing on Thursday.

"The cat meat we sell comes from legitimate sources. It's from cat farms. The animals are raised the same way cows are" says Huang. But even if her butchering business raises cats like cows, many people simply go on cat-stealing sprees, shoving many cats into tiny, little crates. That is very not animal-friendly, which is why protesters feel the need to speak out for these little critters.

I've never ate cat, and never really wanted to. But if it tastes like lamb, Huang, sign me up.