2009 H1N1

The latest media sensation, swine flu, has hit the land of the free. 141 Americans have caught the swine flu.

A paranoid Egypt is to off 350,000 pigs.

HNN loves pigs, even sick ones, and we will never wear surgical masks.

Disney's Image of 'Pirates' Couldn't Be More Wrong

Study the photo to the left. Does this look anything like Johnny Depp? No. Does this man look sexually appealing? No. Does he appear to be drunk in a cool, nonchalant sort of way that demands admiration and respect? No. But this is a real live pirate.

Abduhl Wali-i-Musi is his name. And prior to fucking with American men, pirating was his game. He is currently being charged with piracy and is the first person to do so in over a century. He is said to be 18 by US officails, but his mother begs to differ, saying he is only 16 and got into piracy by "gangsters with money".

Either way, it will only be a few years before lifetime or some indie film-makers decide to tell his story. Until then, we can tell our children that the images of pirates they have come to know and love, like that of Captain Jack Sparrow, are mere illusions. And when a child wants to dress up as a pirate on Halloween, it is Abduhl Wali-i-Musi they must try to emulate.

Let Them Eat Cats

Many Americans enjoy steak. Likewise, many Chinese enjoy cats. But just as American animal rights activists live to protest, so do Chinese activists. Except the Chinese are protesting over the use of cats in cuisine.

Huang, a butcher in Guangdong, China, said to breitbart.com "Cats have a strong flavor. Dogs taste much better, but if you really want cat meat, I can have it delivered by tomorrow" and "Cat tastes a bit like lamb. I don't like it much. Young cats are tender, but the meat on the older ones is really tough. Usually old people like eating it." Which is exactly the kind of thought that enraged cat lovers who protested outside the Guangdong government office in Beijing on Thursday.

"The cat meat we sell comes from legitimate sources. It's from cat farms. The animals are raised the same way cows are" says Huang. But even if her butchering business raises cats like cows, many people simply go on cat-stealing sprees, shoving many cats into tiny, little crates. That is very not animal-friendly, which is why protesters feel the need to speak out for these little critters.

I've never ate cat, and never really wanted to. But if it tastes like lamb, Huang, sign me up.