Raccoon Feces + Human Ingestion = Uh-Oh!

If you're jonesing for a steaming, hot pile of feces to eat or play in, you may want to stay away from raccoon feces... unless you want to end up like these two from Brooklyn, New York.

An infant must have found the raccoon feces and ate some of it, causing sudden seizures and spinal problems and ultimately resulting in brain damage. A teenager came into contact with the raccoon feces and touched his eye, leaving him blind in that feces-covered eye.

This feces, however, is not your average, run of the colon feces. This feces is infected. Worms lay eggs in the feces and the eggs hatch after being ingested. Raccoon Roundworm is its name. Spinal tapping babies is its game. No, that's not funny.

Apparently touching animal shit, and eating it, is more common than we thought it would be.

Cool New Ways To Self-Inflict Pain, Self Mutilate

Using razors and knives to inflict pain upon one's self is so 5 years ago. These days cool kids are taking a more creative spin on the old slice and cut. According to FoxNews, troubled teens are inventing fun, new ways to self mutilate. Studies, as well as bloody body parts, show that these teens use anything to shove into their bodies. Nails, needles, bits of glass, paper clips, rocks, and crayons are among the most popular in 2008.

With this new way to "release tension and/or emotional pain" comes a new fangled name, self-embedding. Self-embedding is different than self-mutilation in that shoving crayons into skin is more of an installation, if you will. Much more artsy. Anyone can take a razor to the wrist... it takes a certain creative instinct to think of inserting some rocks and glass into, maybe, the whole right side of your face.

This sort of self-infliction has really blown up over the last 3 or 4 years. Researchers say that prior to 2005 basic sharp objects were the go-to items for the emotionally troubled. I'm hoping that not only is this new fad here to stay for a while, but that these crazy kids go a little more wild. Shoving beads, gems- maybe even diamonds!- into their pale bodies would surely make quite the shocking statement that every emo-child wants to achieve.

So the next time you are feeling down about life, dont reach for that box cutter. Go glam: pick up some gravel and paper clips and let your feelings run away with every uncomfortable insertion.