Chinese, Japanese, Look at MILEY CYRUS

Miley, who is sitting on the lap of some dirty-looking bad ass, is off offending many many people. Asians. With her fingers, Miley pulls back her eyes as if to say "Herro fwiends!" with her slanty eyes. All the other kids are doing it! Save for the real Asian, who is hard to find since everyone else looks so similar.
OCA, a group of Asian Pacific Americans are outraged and appauled at her thoughtless activity.
Whatever OCA, there is an Asian in the picture. Showing that Miley and Co. are not racist or anything. They are all fwiends. And it rooks rike they are having some fun. Note to OCA: go have some dirty sexy drinking fun... and you will be widening your eyes to look like Americans.

Big Ole' Titties

The term KKK doesn't have the same meaning it used to. HNN presents to you Sheyla Hershey, the woman who thinks that size KKK tits are appealing. And man is she wrong. Having what appears to look like a fat ass on her chest, Hershey loves the way she looks.

Not known for other things she is doing: record label, model, actress, Hershey is obsessed with her appearance. She has had over 18 plastic surgeries, mostly to her tatas, but also to her behind, lips, and nose.

We feel for you Sheyla. Something awful had to have happened to you. Maybe a family member touched you when you were young. Maybe your mother is on drugs. Maybe you have the smallest brain in the world. HNN doesnt really care what is the cause of all this nonsensical breasticals. Remember to call a press conference when your spine collapses and/or your tits explode. Ta-ta for now.

Fake Blonde Bimbos Busted in Man's Back Seat

Two nameless, weightless blondes were found in a creepy old man's car. The girls were found naked and seemingly slightly aroused. Although they are too shaken up from the event to speak, witnesses have claimed to have seen them both being fondled, kissed, and rubbed by George Bartusek, 51. He was having a good time eating Reeses and molesting the two girls. The car, a shitty one at that, was parked outside a public store. So everyone could see the deviant sexual acts.

When police asked him what the fuck he was doing, Bartusek plainly stated that he was going to Target to get his lady friends some clothes. Which is a brilliant idea. He got arrrested, probably because the girls were definately not of consent age (just look at the tiny tits) .

HNN blows warm Resses-breath kisses in the direction of this three-some. So what police get involved? So what he was wearing shorts with a 3-inch hole cut out in the croctchal area? They are in love, and that is beautiful. No matter how inflated the lust may be.

Chinese Girl Attempts Suicide to Save Dying Father

13 year old Chen Jin is being hospitalized after attempting suicide. Jin swallowed 200 sleeping pills, then wrapped herself in an electric blanket (which left her with severe burns). She did all of this to save her beloved fathers life, who needs a liver transplant. She is now recovering in the same hospital as her father, but doctors say that if she does survive, she will need extensive surgery for the severe burns.

In a note to her mother, she writes:

- With the help of our specialized translaters, we were able to find out that this letter states the following: "Mum, I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you any longer, please give my liver to dad and save him after my death."

Correct me if I'm wrong, because I very well could be.. But I beleive that intaking that many pills would actually cause your liver to shut down, leaving you to die.
-Chen Jin should have thought about that before swallowing that many pills. Maybe hanging herself, or self-mutilation would have been a better alternative for her?

Controlling Parents Ruin Their Child's Tenth Birthday Present

How would you feel if your birthday gift was a cell phone, and your parents demanded to view every text message before you could read them? This is the horror that is Victor Delgado's life. Young Victor received his gift on his tenth birthday, and before anyone could have known his number, he received a pornographic text message. The cause for this is that Victor received a "recycled" phone number, which sounds cheap and trashy, and the text came from an acquaintance of the previous owner.

Victor's terrible parents decided to pounce on the situation, seizing it as their opportunity to control Victor's life. Now Victor will have to limit his pornographic exposure to magazines and the internet, rather than having the luxury of it being sent to his cell phone like all other ten year olds.

You can watch the Delgado's cry for attention and fame on this unimportant video that happened to make its way to CNN.com:

Sweet Love

There is nothing HNN hates more than red and pink hearts, stuffed teddy bears, and roses dipped in glitter. On the day that has "love" lingering in the air, (aka hot sex) we have decided to celebrate in a different way. We are going to travel deep into the forest, smoke cigarettes, do some yoga, and end our day off with saving puppies.

No one needs to get fat off of chocolate hearts, and baby cupids. Their partners just do that to reassure them that they aren't cheating.

- If you hate V-day as much as us, and are interested in participating in our Unvalentine escapade, RSVP to HNN before February 14.

Christian Bale: Flipping the F*** Out

Christian Bale, star of the new Terminator Salvation movie, was absolutely livid at the director of photography Shane Hurlbut. Bale threatens to beat up the poor man, and even quit the film. This happened about a year ago while in the making of the movie, but the audio recently leaked from... somewhere. HNN was quick on the job to find the audio tape for our viewers to hear.

Check on it: Bale's Tirade.

HNN thinks that Christian should get the mole near his eye removed.