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Showing posts with label Germany. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Germany. Show all posts

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Those Germans Are At It Again...


German engineering does not stop on land. Oh no, Germany is airborne. As if hearing 'Das Auto' doesn't curdle our blood, we will soon be forced to hear such terms as "MS Watersports GmbH of Itzehoe" and "JetLev-Flyer" and "fat yellow hose". Gross. Awful. Damnit Germany, how did you manage to do something us Americans could not? I, for one, am embarrassed.

But moving on, let us tell you a little something about this JetLev-Flyer... it runs off of water, a fat yellow tube hangs down and sucks up water, and blasts off the flyer's sholder rockets. While wearing it you can reach a height of 50 feet, speed of 45 mph and 186 miles of fly time. That is eqivilant to 4 hours of flying time. Crazy, right? Well, yeah it kind of is. I live in western PA, where am i going to find 186 miles of water where i can fly over for 4 hours? And even if i did have that luxury, i would want to fly to the mall or the brothel, which is not located by bodies of water.

But, if any of you are interested in buying one of these flyin' machines, it will cost you about $130,000 US dollars. And that is 129,999 US dollars too many for me.

Friday, January 9, 2009

True Love: German Child Style


Germany is crazy and everyone knows it. So when two lovebirds run off to Africa to get married no one bats a feathery eyelash. But when these two love birds are still young enough to wet the bed and eat nose-pickings, the world gasps with erotic excitement and slight horror. The two lovers thought it was completely necessary to elope to Africa- and take a friend/witness. Pigs spotted them at a train station and immediately notified Hitler or whoever is in the know in Germany.

HNN loves love- especially child-love, between children., not adults and children, that's so sick. But when an 8 year old loves a 5 year old, something special will happen. Think Corey and Topanga.